Brenda’s Blog

Do you NEED to, or are you CHOOSING to?

April 22, 2023

“I am busier than ever, so I need to work long hours to get everything done!”
Lately, I’ve been hearing this from clients – a lot. And it does seem like we are all working more these days (maybe you can relate to that, too?). 
But whenever I hear this from clients, I pause and ask, “Do you NEED to, or are you CHOOSING to?”
NEEDING to do something makes you a victim.
CHOOSING to do something empowers you.

I’m not saying that we don’t all have tasks we have to accomplish – of course we do! But I find that it’s how you choose to look at those tasks – the mindset you embrace coupled with the language you use – that makes all the difference. By saying to yourself, “I choose to do this,” there is a greater sense of empowerment when you start in on a task.
A simple example: Earlier this year, I set a goal of climbing 15 flights of stairs every day (well, ok, let’s be honest: my personal trainer set that goal for me! Ha ha…) At first, I would remind myself, “I need to climb those stairs…. I need to climb those stairs!” But that felt more like a homework assignment from a mean teacher.
So, then I started telling myself, “I CHOOSE to climb these stairs every day. I’m doing this for my health, for the positive physical outcomes.” That felt completely different.
How about you? What is at least one task you could shift from “needing” to do to “choosing” to do? And how does that shift feel?



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