Brenda’s Blog

My executive coaching client had enjoyed a highly successful career spanning 28 years, steadily climbing the corporate ladder. Each year brought greater responsibility, larger teams to lead, and higher revenue targets to attain.

Just like this client, every time we recall past events, we bring them forward from the past into our present reality. In our minds, we relive the experience, the emotions, the sights, and sounds of that event as if it were happening now. This constant mental replay becomes a ball and chain, anchoring us to a moment that no longer serves us.

It was time for my client to break free from this cycle.

“What did that experience teach you?” I asked.

“Well, it wasn’t a ‘fun’ lesson,” he admitted, “but I was reminded not to take people for granted, to listen more to those around me, and to rely on their expertise before making important decisions.”

“Sounds like a valuable lesson,” I responded. “Now that you’ve learned it, how confident are you that you won’t repeat the same mistake?”

“Absolutely confident—never again.”

“Got it. So, how are you better off today thanks to that experience?”

“Oh, I’m definitely a better leader. I have more humility now, and I’m more willing to listen to my direct reports’ perspectives before making significant decisions.”

“And how do you feel about that experience now, as you look back on it?”

Pausing, he shared, “I guess I’m…grateful for it. It really did help me in the long run.”

When you can look back on a past “mistake” with gratitude and take the time to learn from it, you can embrace a powerful approach to dealing with past experiences:

*Forget the incident. Remember the lesson.*

What is a past “mistake” or situation you keep remembering? How can you shift your perspective to focus on the lesson it offered you rather than the mistake?